CHOICE

First off….I got a ton of responses…all offering insight and food for thought and blogging! I had one response taking notice of my use of the word CHOICE. It’s true that I do believe I have chosen the life I am living. Every bit of it for that matter. This topic happened to be on the top of my list for things to blog about.
Do we choose our sexual orientation? Or are we born the way we are? And …. If it seems that we were born the way we are, does that mean we didn’t choose it? Big questions! I don’t have all of the answers.
The only thing I do know is how I choose to see the world. There’s that word again!
I have been told in many discussions that there are some people who feel they are simply more attracted to one sex or the other. While some tell me that they could go either way.
We are all here to learn what we are here to learn. Based on those lessons, I think we create the exact situations or roles in life for optimal learning.
Take my life for example… I have been attracted to women for as long as I can remember. Looking back on my life I can recall far more instances where my attraction to the same sex was much more intense than my attraction to the opposite sex. However, I have spent my life until now in relationships with men. My relationships with men have been a struggle, chaotic, painful, abusive at times … not fun! I could tell you exactly the reason I have had them that way… that’s an hour on a couch for sure. And I could, if I wanted to, spend the rest of my life figuring out how to make them work. How to shift my own beliefs about myself and men. All the while hitting my head against a wall and burning through man after man.
Yoly... with her very boyish looks and feminine energy, came to the conclusion that she was a lesbian at the age of 18 and cringes at the thought of being with a man. But if you ask her, which I have, she will tell you that she could have chosen to be in relationship with a man. She’s confident she could have found a man who she could successfully partner with, if she had chosen to.
I think that as the level of consciousness increases, the amount of labels and black and white thinking starts to decrease. What are we all really looking for anyway? Love? Security? Understanding? Connection? Intimacy? Does the anatomy of a person determine where you will find those things?
I know this is a tricky topic for a lot of people. I can hear echoes of past conversations … “I absolutely did not choose” “This is just who I am” “How dare you imply that I would choose this life given how difficult it is”.
Again I don’t have the answers… but to quote Lynne Sheridan …. “Given the two options….living my life from a place of victim or responsible, I choose responsible” It’s just more fun, I think!
What do you think?